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Last Post: Congrats and my sympathies! lol.

Last Post: Yo, check it dog! This is the story of Jack and the Bean Stalk - jivinated. In da days uh Ken Alfred, dare dat’ it be goin’ lived a poor fat ho, whose cottage did be in a remote country village, many miles from London. She had been a widow some years, an had an only child named Jack, whom da ho indulged so much dat the dog never paid the least attention to anythen da ho said, but did be indolent, careless, an extravagant. His follies were not owen to a bad disposition, but to his mother’s foolish partiality. By degrees, the dog spent all dat da ho had—scarcely anythen remained but a cow. One day, fuh da first time in her life, da ho reproached him: "Cruel, cruel boy! you has at last brought me to beggary. me has not Yayo enough to purchase even a bit uh bread; nothen now remains to lay your racket but my poor cow! me be sorry to part wid her; it grieves me sadly, but we cannot starve." For a few minutes Jack felt rem

Last Post: A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move." "Oh," said the man, "who’s clock is that?" "That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved indicating that she never told a lie." "Whose clock is that?" "That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abe only told two lies in his entire life." The man asked, "Where’s President Obama’s clock?" "It’s in Jesus’ office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan."

Last Post: OK here's three to get the thread started, everyone add their favorites as they find them and let's see what we come up with.

Last Post:  I predict that your ideal job sarah wingate is a Dodgem Driver. Good luck in your new career.

Last Post: You know it is funny that you describe the problems in this country streaming from changes of law from the original intent and definition of the founding fathers and founding documents as a negative. It is precisely changes from the intent of the founding documents that we evil conservatives are trying to defend against. While I agree that this country screwed up when we got rid of the gold standard to back it’s money I disagree with the conspiracy theory propaganda in the youtube video you reference. It is a well done piece of propaganda in that it expertly weaves selected quotes and facts without context along with their conspiracy theory to lead one to draw conclusions that just are not supported by the entire history of the events in question. Additionally, a thorough reading of the federal reserve system website you quote does not support the so called purely private nature of the reserve system of your conspiracy theory. The truth is the reserve system has worked for many y

Last Post: water

Last Post: i love jeff dunham and pablo francisco! also carlos iglasis and bruce bruce!

Last Post:  A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You’re beautiful." Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said,"You’re cute." The wife was disappointed because instead of "beautiful," it was now "cute." She asked, "What happened to beautiful?" The man replied, "The drugs are wearing off."

Last Post: Mr. Pickles Prank call: loading

Last Post: Okay, came across this...I find it totally hillarious. Gotta pick someone to do it to though... http://www.alltooflat.com/pranks/postits/

Last Post: Q. Why do blondes wear big hoop earrings? A. So they have somewhere to put their feet.

Last Post: it takes a certain type of man to put his cock in a dress and bonnet.

Last Post: have them sucked. I’d rather suck other appendages. newspaper? or Network news?

Last Post: Hey Pizer have developed a powder form of Viagra to put in your coffee doesnt do anything for your sex life but it stops your donut from going soft

Last Post: Israel will never allow Iran to have a deployable nuke - if they ever admit to having one, the Israeli Air Force will be paying them a visit & the World won’t know ’til afterwards - just like they did with Iraq in the early ’80’s............but I suspect Iran will be getting more than one visit from them! ..............& this week from the Arab world - a picture is worth a thousand words! With this type of mentality ............there’ll never be peace in that region. Hmmmm.......Everything is relatively calm at the Israeli - Lebanese border, then Hezbollah kidnaps two Israeli soldiers & starts firing a couple of hundred missiles a day into civilian areas...........& the USA & the UK are terrorists??? Last pic is of an Arab protest this past weekend in Sydney, Australia. Why weren’t they protesting a few weeks earlier about Hezbollah rockets being fired into Israeli homes, hospitals, etc??? If there hadn’t been kidna

Last Post:  i like this one

Last Post: that would depend on the amount of alcohol ingested , MT, lol

Last Post: Daddy, how was I born?> >> > DAD SAYS:> >> > Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway--exclaim-- Well,> > you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then> > I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.> > We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a> > download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we> > discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it> > was too late to hit the delete button,> > nine months later a blessed little Popup appeared and said:> >> > You--apost--ve Got Male--exclaim--

Last Post: i remember that one DS Daddy, how was I born?> >> > DAD SAYS:> >> > Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway--exclaim-- Well,> > you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then> > I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.> > We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a> > download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we> > discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it> > was too late to hit the delete button,> > nine months later a blessed little Popup appeared and said:> >> > You--apost--ve Got Male--exclaim--

Last Post: i agree with you both there is a time to stop

Last Post: lmao

Last Post: i have been in milk barns and it is an issue, lol

Last Post: Anyone hear or read any quotes that are worth passing on? Can be from anyone, famous or friend, forum member or fool.Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to vote: --quote--I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I--apost--d get shot.--quote--If

Last Post: i would kiss all of them and more if allowed, he he

Last Post: all over the news today. I think the whole thing is rediculous.--quote--I wanna come to the US to work, to go to school, for new opportunities. Ah, fuck that, I--apost--m staying home to show em how much they need me--quote--There is something just wrong with that type of thinking,

Last Post:  Deaf NewlywedsTwo deaf people get married. During the first week ofmarriage, they find that they are unable to communicatein the bedroom when they turn off the lights becausethey can--apost--t see each other using sign language. Afterseveral nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings,the wife decides to find a solution. --quote--Honey,--quote-- she signs,--quote--Why don--apost--t we agree on some simple signals? For instance,at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach overand squeeze my left breast one time. If you don--apost--t wantto have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breastone time.--quote-- The husband thinks this is a great idea andsigns back to his wife, --quote--Great idea, Now if you wantto have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penisone time. If you don--apost--t want to have sex, reach overand pull on my cock......fifty times--exclaim----quote--

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Last Post: these assclowns are just trying to get attention, hoping a camera will put them on tv somewhere. if any church ever deserved to burned to the ground, it--apost--s theirs

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Last Post: my lil--apost-- sister has gotten her signature as --quote--if you can laugh at yourself, you will always be amused--quote-- hahaha i found it humorous and yet very true. --quote--light trael faster than sound: that is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak--quote--

Last Post: This game is way hard...not sure if this will make any sense at all, but here goes:Before the hen was too big, he was forced to take the sweet large man to church, staying in as many homes because he wanted to stay because of the melted water.

Last Post: well yeah but thats when u get young mistresses

Last Post: yeah that--apost--s what I thought. In that case, no, I can--apost--t and have never seen it done in real.

Last Post: Dannie,I take back my last couple of comments. I do have a pic or two ofthat area in my profile now. So go there and get to giggling,chuckleling, and guffawing.Fireman

Last Post: I--apost--m pro-choice. Fuz...you might say that the baby is not a part of her body but it is in her body...nobody else--apost--s. She should have the right to choose what happens to her body and no one should tell her what to do with it.

Last Post: 6 Good Laughs Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did.... FIRST TESTIMONY: I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, --quote--How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?--quote-- I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn--apost--t say a word...he knew better. SECOND TESTIMONY: I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I wasunhappy with the women--apost--s type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, --quote--I think I like playing with men--apost--s balls.--quote-- THIRD TESTIMONY: My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at

Last Post: Thanks, bone--exclaim----exclaim-- I think it--apost--s my favorite:)

Last Post: You need to be happy..truly happy with yourself. If you are good things come to you. It will not matter what anyone says or does around you. you will still have inner peace if you are happy with yourself.

Last Post: 25 signs your getting old --->1. Your house plants are alive, and you can--apost--t smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. 5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator. 6. You watch the Weather Channel. 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up. 8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. 9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as --quote--dressed up.--quote-- 10. You--apost--re the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won--apost--t turn down the stereo. 11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. 12. You don--apost--t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. 13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up. 14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers. 15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. 16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM. 17.